In Passing
by and-chaos-reigned
Summary: A series of oneshots detailing the lives and loves of Lily and James and friends.
1. Boy Meets Girl

Author's note:

Sorry if the formatting on this is a little messed up- I originally wrote it in an email, and then tried to re-format it in Word….but anyway. Here you are! This is the first of many one-shots I have written for a sort of collection of Marauder's era stuff. Please be honest- this isn't one of my better ones in my opinion, so I'd really like any constructive criticism you can give. It would be MUCH appreciated!!

Fourth Year

"Hey Evans!"

Lily Evans looked up from the essay she was currently musing over and scanned the Gryffindor common room for whoever had spoken her name. Her eyes landed on James Potter, the only one in the room not otherwise engaged at the moment, the only one looking at her.

"Yes?" she asked uncertainly, as though she didn't suppose he'd really meant to say her name.

He came towards her, Remus Lupin following behind with an almost apologetic expression on his face.

"Lily," James stated, seating himself across from her and tilting his chair forward, leaning in. Remus perched on the edge of the table.

"Yes?" she answered again, giving him a rather bewildered look. She knew this could be nothing good, was preparing in her head reasons why he could not copy her homework, wanted him to go away. But Lily was an instinctively gracious person, and so did her best to assume the best of James. Remus liked him, after all, and Lily liked Remus.

"What would you say if I asked you out?"

Lily's good nature did a double take. "You mean...on a date? With you?"

Remus tried not to laugh.

"Yeah," James replied suavely, tilting his head and looking straight into her eyes with the slightest teasing smirk about his mouth.

Lily considered him with an amused expression. "No," she said finally, matter-of-factly but not unkindly.

"What?"

"I'd say no."

The back legs of James' chair hit the ground with a thud, and Remus snorted and shook his head at his friend. Lily shot him a questioning, help-me-out-here look. Remus just shook his head again, grinning, as if telling her she was on her own but he was he going to enjoy the show.

"Wha...But why?" James nearly sputtered.

"I just...don't think it would be a good idea," Lily answered simply.

James frowned. "You don't even know me, Evans, and you're rejecting me."

Lily raised an eyebrow at him. "You've hit the nail on the head, James. I don't know anything about you, and you expect me to go out with you?"

James shrugged. "Most people think I'm a pretty cool guy."

Remus raised his eyes to the ceiling and put a hand to his head in despair.

Lily put her quill down and looked straight at James. "Be that as it may, in my entire history of knowing you as more than a face and a name- basically, these last five minutes- you've done nothing to convince me that your coolness is anything but self-proclaimed. In fact, in all our years at Hogwarts I think this is the first time you've ever voluntarily spoken to me. Your reasons for wanting to go out with me can hardly be anything substantial-"

"What if I just think you're really pretty?" James interrupted.

"Well- urgh, that's exactly my point, Potter! Besides, I doubt that's it either. I'd bet a lot of money that this is a dare or a bet or something you lost."

She turned to Remus. "Am I right?"

Remus cleared his throat, trying desperately not to laugh. "You're pretty close, Lily."

James slammed his hand on the table and turned to Remus. "Moony! Why would you say that?!"

"Oh come on mate, she's not going to change her mind any time soon. Game's up, you lost." Remus hopped off the table and paced backwards towards the fireplace where Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew sat watching. He shrugged exaggeratedly and raised his eyebrows at James. "Give it up!" he offered jovially.

James scowled at him ferociously, then turned back to Lily, a nearly malicious sneer on his face now. "Well Evans, it's clear you're a little picky, but I'm sure some day your perfect guy will come along. If there is a guy out there as self-righteous and stuck-up as you, I wish him the best of luck!'

With that James shoved back from the little table, knocking over his chair and storming up the steps to the boys' dormitory, leaving a very surprised and hurt-looking Lily in his wake. Remus, Sirius and Peter stared after him, and then one by one turned to look at Lily. They hadn't heard what had been said, but they very much doubted that Lily had deserved whatever it was.

Sirius, who considered himself above anything concerning things like emotions, simply frowned and went back to his and Peter's game of Exploding Snap. Peter glanced at Remus, and Remus motioned towards Lily's corner. They were just getting up from their spots, eliciting a raised eyebrow from Sirius, when the common room door slammed and fifth year Marlene McKinnon breezed into the room. Sirius' face lit up in a rather stupid, lovesick gaze, and his eyes followed her path- -straight towards Lily's table. Remus and Peter sat back down, both rather relieved that they could not comfort Lily just now. What, after all, did one say to a wounded 14-year-old girl? Or any girl, for that matter?

"Hey Lil, can I borrow a couple of those star charts you made?" Marlene asked brightly, leaning with both palms on Lily's table and flashing her a warm smile. "You'd think I'd have this down after two years in Advanced Astronomy, but I'm really no good at the elementary stuff."

Lily seemed to shake herself mentally, tearing her eyes away from where James had vanished up the staircase and fixing a happier expression on her face.

"Erm, yeah, just let me dig them out...They're in here somewhere..." Lily rummaged distractedly.

Marlene's eyes wandered to a pile of parchment next to Lily's hand on the table. "Oh, look, they're right here, silly," she laughed, patting the pile. "Do you mind?"

Lily's head emerged from her bag. "Oh! Of course, no, take them."

Marlene scooped up the papers, grinned her thanks at Lily, and made to turn away. But something stopped her. "Hey, Lils, are you feeling ok?"

"What? Oh, yeah, I'm just a little worn out. This stupid essay..."

Lily was looking nowhere near her essay. Marlene followed Lily's eyes, up the boys' staircase. She looked at Lily, at the staircase, at Lily, and promptly pulled up a chair next to her younger friend and sat herself in it.

"What's wrong, love?"

Lily grimaced in defeat and wrinkled her nose. "Boys."

"I gathered as much. Anyone in particular?"

And because Marlene was the type of person that everyone went to with problems, and the type of person that gave the best advice, even if it wasn't exactly what you wanted to hear, and because Marlene gave the best hugs, and because Lily wouldn't have minded a hug just then, Lily told Marlene everything.

When she finished, Lily was indeed rewarded with one of Marlene's hugs.

"Lily, darling, you can't listen to that oaf. He's only miffed because you're the first girl that's not fainted when he turned those pretty eyes on her, and he'll be bitter for days, but he was entirely wrong. You are one of the sweetest girls I know, Lily Evans, and everybody knows it but James Potter. And if you're feeling rattled because before he opened his big mouth you were under his spell just like the rest of the female population, well, you're not the first."

Lily looked up at Marlene and smiled slightly. "You never fail, Doctor McKinnon."

"Well, that's my job, sweetie." Marlene looked thoughtful for a moment. "But don't get me wrong, Lils, you're not to write James Potter off completely. He can be a real gentleman when he wants, and I've seen and heard things about him that go against every air he puts on."

Lily laughed. "I hope you're right," she sighed. "He acts a total berk, but he does have nice eyes..."

Marlene swatted her arm playfully. "That's my girl. But promise me- no swooning?"

"No swooning. Nice eyes don't even begin to make up for him being so... well, I'm not the swooning type, anyway."

"I know, love," said Marlene, "And I think that's why I'm so fond of you."


	2. Confessions and Revelations

Sixth Year

Lily looked at Remus steadily, until he finally looked away.

"You're a werewolf, aren't you?" she asked, so very quietly. She couldn't see Remus' face.

He seemed to shrink at her words, and yet said nothing.

"Remus?"

There was a long pause. Remus got up from his seat and turned to face the fire, staring into the dying flames with his back to Lily. "I always knew you would figure it out for yourself," he replied in a deadened voice.

Slowly, he brought his eyes upwards, but he still did not meet hers. "Go on then- what do you think of me now?"

"What?" Lily asked sharply.

"I said…. what do you think of me now?" Remus asked tiredly, with a determined dread in his voice. Now he met her eyes. "It won't be anything I haven't heard before."

Lily narrowed her eyes. "What would you _like_ me to say?" she asked, her voice a little unsteady. She couldn't decide if she was angry with him for expecting her to be like everyone else, or if she was sad for him because he'd come to assume everyone _was_ like that. "Do you really want me to hate you?" Her voice broke on the last word, and it startled him into looking at her; really looking at her. She felt her eyes burning, and tears threatening. "I'm sorry Remus, but I can't do that." She took a shaky breath. "You're still Remus."

Remus looked at Lily in open-mouthed amazement. "Why…why are you crying?"

Lily laughed horribly. "Am I? I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm just so mad that I –" She broke off.

"Why should you be _mad_?" Remus asked incredulously.

Lily shook her head. Very quietly, she said, "No one should have to live like that."

Remus stared at her still. Slowly his gaze softened, and he allowed himself a small, sad smile. "I know that. But I do, and I'm still me. Like you said." His heart went out to her- she looked so small and sad, and all on his account. He really hadn't meant to make her cry! "I've gotten used to people hating me for it, but you- you don't, do you?"

"How could I!" Lily exclaimed suddenly. "Remus-" She broke off again, and stood up abruptly. Crossing the room in two strides, she flung her arms around Remus' neck and squeezed him as hard as she could. Shocked, it took Remus a long moment to respond, but he tentatively hugged her back. Had anyone been watching them, they would have seen the poor boy's face twisted in confusion, but his eyes so full of wonder and gratitude that nothing else mattered. If this wasn't love, if this wasn't true friendship, then Remus didn't know what was.

In the boys' dormitory later that night, Remus sat quietly on his bed. The others in the dorm talked noisily as they brushed their teeth and threw pillows at one another, but Remus was so silent that finally they were forced to take notice.

"What's the matter with you mate?" Sirius asked, collecting his pillows from around the room and tossing them back onto his bed.

Remus looked at James. "James, Lily's really something, you know?"

Sirius and James exchanged a look. "Er, Remus, you know James has been crackers for Lily since, like…forever, right?"

Remus seemed startled out of his reverie. "Oh no, Merlin no, it's not like I fancy her!"

James looked decidedly relieved. "Then why do you say that?"

Remus was quiet again for a moment. "She found out about me."

It took James a second to comprehend. "You mean-" His eyes grew wide. "What did she say?"

Remus smiled. "She didn't really say much. But she doesn't care. Not at all. I mean, she does care, but about _me_, not about me being a werewolf."

"Come again?" Peter chimed, looking lost. Remus sighed.

"She's ok with it. She's still a friend. It was the weirdest response I've ever gotten from anyone, but she seemed a little mad that I would think she'd hate me for it. She's just really…something. You're a lucky guy, James," Remus added. "But don't get me wrong, I don't want to go out with her, or-"

"Snog her?" Sirius asked, grinning.

"Yeah. I mean- no! Hey!" Remus glared, and waved a hand at James. "Are you _trying_ to get me killed?"

"Only if I can make it look like an accident, mate," Sirius shrugged. "Ow!" Sirius rubbed his head tenderly in the spot where Remus' pillow had been launched at, as the other boys laughed and climbed into their beds.

"So, who _do_ you fancy, Remus?" Peter asked in an attempted nonchalant tone as they all put out their lights.

"Oh, we all know who Remus likes," James chided.

"The nice one," said Sirius.

"The smart one," added James.

"The pretty one," Peter suggested.

"Marlene," Sirius confirmed. "Am I right?"

From Remus' bed came a loud snore, and the other boys groaned. Remus was never any fun.


	3. What Are Friends For?

Sixth Year

Dorcas was leaning on the table with her head in her hand. "Marlene, you're gorgeous. You know that, right?"

Marlene and Lily stared. "Er, Dorcas," Lily said, looking amused, "is there something you'd like to tell us?"

"Eh?"

"You _do_ like blokes, right?"

Dorcas looked confused.

"As opposed to girls?"

Dorcas slammed her hand down on the table, rolling her eyes and exclaiming. "Oh Lily, please! I was just trying to give the girl a compliment!"

"Well thanks, I guess," Marlene replied.

"She's right though you know," Lily said thoughtfully, now looking at Marlene.

Marlene looked from one girl to the other. "Hey, guys, what is this? See how long it takes Marlene to catch on to the game?"

"Don't be stupid, we're only trying to compliment you," Lily replied somewhat indignantly. Dorcas' mouth dropped open.

"Lily Evans-"

"Oh come off it. I'm siding with you now, right?"

Dorcas rolled her eyes.

"Seriously though," Marlene repeated, "stop staring! There's nothing so special for you to look at here!"

"Marlene, you have to agree that you're not exactly ugly," Lily said. "Am I right?" Lily asked, turning to Dorcas. Over Dorcas' shoulder Lily caught sight of Remus coming in through the portrait hole. "Remus!" she called. "Don't you agree that Marlene's pretty?" Remus looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"Er, well, erm…"

"Remus, don't listen to them," Marlene protested, turning a shade of red second in brilliance only to the current hue of Remus' own face and neck. The poor girl looked terribly awkward, and yet hopeful at the same time.

"Erm, yeah," Remus recovered. "They're right you know." He blushed even more furiously at this, and turned abruptly and bounded up the boys' staircase.

Dorcas turned to Lily. "That was evil," she accused, grinning wickedly.

Lily giggled. "I know, I'm sorry. But I couldn't resist!" She grinned. "Did you see his face?"

"That was just mean," Marlene objected. "You can't put people on the spot like that! And Remus gets awfully nervous around girls," she added.

"No, he gets nervous around _you_," Dorcas muttered.

"What?"

"She said, around you he does," Lily replied. She and Dorcas stared at Marlene expectantly, while Marlene seemed to work a few things out in her head. Then she gasped. "You don't mean-"

Lily and Dorcas rolled their eyes simultaneously. "It took you long enough!" Lily laughed. Marlene looked shocked.

"Do you really think he… fancies me?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "We've only been waiting for years for one of you to figure it out!"

"With all the hints we've dropped, I would've thought two smart kids like you would have noticed _something_. But no, you're both helplessly clueless when it comes to true love," Dorcas lamented.

Marlene gave Dorcas a look. "True love? You are far too dramatic, Dorcas Meadows. I'll bet he doesn't think half as much of me as you two think he does." But Marlene's hope was hard to conceal. A smile was playing at her lips.

Lily looked at her thoughtfully. "You like him a lot, don't you?"

"I-"

"Marlene."

"Well…" 

"There's really no point in denying it, love. We know you do." Dorcas urged.

Marlene blushed faintly pink. "Yes."

Dorcas clapped her hands in glee. "I knew it! That's it- this calls for some serious matchmaking."

"No!" Marlene exclaimed, looking alarmed. "No, Dorcas, please. You don't know for sure he likes me at all!"

"You insult my intelligence, darling- I _know_ he likes you. Now leave this all to us."

Lily smiled sympathetically at Marlene. "Don't worry, I'll keep her on a leash."

Marlene smiled hesitantly. "Thanks. Dorcas, just…don't do anything stupid, yeah? I don't want to-"

"Scare him off?" Dorcas provided. Lily and Marlene looked surprised. An intuitive Dorcas?

"Well, yeah, a little, I guess. I mean, I like being his friend, and I'm happy with that. So try not to go screwing things up for us?"

Dorcas' expression was serious, almost a little sad. "Of course. You know I wouldn't do that to you. I know what it's like to have a guy scared of you."

Lily cringed. "Don't worry Dorcas. We'll have that matter sorted out soon enough."

Marlene nodded forcefully. "What're friends for, yeah?"

Dorcas smiled. There was a moment of silence, then- "Speaking of which…"

"You're doing you _own_ essay tonight, Dorcas Meadows!" Lily exclaimed, shaking her head and getting up from her chair.

"How did you--? Oh, never mind. Lily, please, just this once? Pretty please?"

"No. Now come on, let's go get some dinner. I didn't realize what time it was."

Marlene and Lily got up and strolled out of the portrait hole together, trailing Dorcas behind, muttering to herself.

"What are friends for indeed? A bloody time of crisis, and no help at all…"

Author's Note:

Sorry, these last two were a little short. I like them much better than the first one, however, and hopefully you'll agree! Still, tell me what you think. If you're confused on characters or anything, just ask. I'm not sure that it's very clear to anyone but myself how everyone's related, so tell me! I promise the next one will have more L/J, if that's what you're looking for. )


	4. If Truth Be Told

Seventh Year

James grabbed Lily's arm and pulled her around to face him. "Will you just listen for one minute?"

Lily's blazing eyes met his. "What, Potter?"

James kept his hold on her arm, for fear she would storm off at any moment unless he physically restrained her. "Why does it make you so mad when I ask you out?"

"Maybe," said Lily in disgust, wrenching her arm out of his grasp, "because you do it all the time. It used to just be annoying, James, but how you can be so insincere and unfeeling after all these years of me telling you to stop is..." Lily couldn't find a suitable word.

"What makes you think I'm insincere, Lily?"

"Potter...I've asked you a million times to stop." She sighed, and her tone became more serious. "Maybe everyone used to think it was funny, and I was a little flattered when it all started, but I get that now it's all a joke to you, and I really, really wish you would find someone else to make the source of your amusement."

James stared. "You really don't get it, do you?"

Lily laughed humorlessly and threw her hands in the air. "I must be missing something!"

James frowned a little, and suddenly Lily noticed a certain something in his stare that was a little too intense for her taste. "Do you like me at all?" James asked her quietly.

Lily looked genuinely surprised. "Do you want me to like you?"

"Why the hell do you think I ask you out so much?!" James asked incredulously.

Lily raised her eyebrows, blinked. "I...I thought..."

"Did you honestly think I would keep after you all these years for a joke?" James demanded. "I'm not that desperate for entertainment, Lily." His voice grew softer. "I really do like you."

Lily was silent for a long moment. She stood frowning solemnly up at the boy in front of her, contemplating something. "I guess that makes two of us," she finally said, so quietly James wasn't altogether sure he'd really heard her.

"What do you mean, two of us? Two of us that-"

"I never wanted to like you!" Lily cried, her voice almost breaking. James looked startled at the emotion in her voice. Her eyes would no longer meet his. "I never wanted to fall for you," she added, almost in a whisper.

"Lily?"

"Yes?"

"Would it surprise you, or creep you out at all if I told you I loved you?" Lily's head snapped up. She looked positively frightened, and shocked, and happy, all at once. "A little of both, but..." she tried to joke.

"Do you really?" There was, unmistakably, hope in her voice that she was trying desperately to conceal.

"Always have," James replied. His fingers lightly grazed her cheek.

Lily suddenly realized how close they were standing, and she took a step back. She bit her lip, she looked down and away from James.

"I'm sorry!" he cried, desperately grabbing her hand and keeping her there. "But I'm sick of not telling you, and having you think it's all for show, and-"

And suddenly, Lily was kissing James, and- after a few good, long seconds of shock- James was kissing Lily back. He had just begun to wind his arms around her waist when she pulled away, entirely too quickly in James' opinion, and he made a noise of protest and refused to let got of her completely. And so she looked up at him from not very far away, and thought how nice it was to be so close. "James Potter, I have been ridiculous. I've loved you for I don't know how long, and...and..." Lily looked up sheepishly. "It looks like we've wasted a lot of time not telling each other things."

James smiled a half smile and pulled Lily closer. "Well just so you know, Lily Evans, I love you."

"And I love you," she said wondrously. She smiled up at him, and he pulled her into another kiss, and she wrapped her arms around him as tight as she could manage while still kissing him thoroughly, and ceased to think much of anything.

Twenty or so minutes later found the couple happily seated by the fire, exchanging frequent kisses and being rather quiet and simply enjoying being in such close proximity with each other without feeling angry or upset or annoyed. This is how they were discovered by Dorcas, whose eyes went wide and who dashed immediately up the girls' staircase so that she could squeal uninhibitedly; Peter, whose mouth dropped open and who stood staring for a good minute before disappearing to find Remus or Sirius; and Remus, who stared, smiled, shook his head, and calmly climbed the stairs to his dormitory and finished an essay for Charms.


	5. All For One

Fifth Year 

Peter finally found Sirius and James in the library. Madam Pince was eyeing them warily, but Peter knew she had nothing to worry about. Ever since Remus had pointed out that James probably shouldn't get himself banned from one of the several places he could usually find Lily, he had been on his best behavior whenever the matron librarian was around.

"Hey Wormtail," Sirius greeted him without looking up from whatever he was scribbling. James waved.

"Prongs, Padfoot," Peter returned.

"What's up?" James asked when Peter said nothing.

"Er, we need to talk."

Both James and Sirius looked up then, noting Peter's hesitation. "Yes?" Sirius asked.

"It's…about Marlene." Peter hated to bring it up, since Sirius tended to be very touchy on the subject of girls, especially when it wasn't about how much they adored him.

"Has she finally said she'll go out with me?" he asked, surprised.

"Er…no," Peter said. "Erm…James?"

James sighed heavily, turning in his chair to face Sirius. "He's right, mate, we've got to talk about Marlene."

"What have you two come up with now?" Sirius, asked, grinning uncertainly.

"Nothing, Padfoot, it's not like that."

"Ok…"

"See," James continued, "we want to know how you really feel about her."

Sirius glanced back and forth between his friends, looking as though he wasn't sure when the punchline came in. "How I really….feel about her? What do you mean?"

"Do you like her?"

"Well I think she's hot, if that's what you mean. And she's fun. Yeah, I like her."

James and Peter exchanged glances. "Yeah," said James, "but do you _really_ like her?"

"Well I'm not proposing marriage, but I'd like to go out with her, maybe get stuck in a broom closet or two with her or something. Look, what is all this about, anyway?"

"Padfoot, mate, we think our furriest friend has feelings for Marlene."

There was a pause, then: "Moony's got the hots for Marlene?" Sirius guffawed.

James allowed himself a small smile. "Yeah, well, we think it's a little more than that. We think he _really_ likes her."

"Meaning…"

"Meaning usually he doesn't get these big crushes on girls, but lately he's been staring at her in the common room like mad, and he gets all stutter-y when he talks to her-"

"-when he talks _about_ her-" interjected Peter.

"- and we thought that maybe if she didn't mean more than a good snog to you that you should lay off her for a bit," finished James.

Sirius took a minute to think this through. Then, slowly, a mischievous grin spread across his face. "Moony's got the hots for Marlene!" he repeated gleefully.

James and Peter exchanged amused glances. "You're not annoyed then?" Peter asked.

"Wormtail, mate, I could very well have any girl in this school if I wanted. Let our friend have this one. Oh, I can't _wait_ to see his face when I bring her up!"

The boys laughed.

"Wait a second though," Sirius said. "How did you figure that one out?"

"Padfoot, how thick do you think we are? You think we wouldn't recognize our friend's first love if we…….Dorcas told us."

The boys laughed again. Just then a book slammed onto the table in the midst of their group. All three boys looked up into the livid, somewhat triumphant face of Madam Pince.

"That is IT, you hoodlums! I want you packed up and OUT of my library in _five minutes_, or else I'll call Filch to haul you out himself. Disrupting the peace, causing disorder, _talking_ in the library…" she trailed off as she stalked back to her desk.

Peter, James and Sirius managed to hold in their laughter until they exited the library; there they let loose in the corridor, effectively frightening away a small group of second years.

"What's so funny?" Remus asked as he turned the corner, looking back to get a better view of the fleeing second years.

Sirius looked up, saw who it was, and doubled over in yet more laughter, wiping tears from his eyes. James shook his head, smiling as Remus.

"Nothing mate, just The Vulture. Kicked us out just now."

"Oh, I knew it had to happen one of these days. I'll just have to pretend I don't know you now when I want to use the library."

"You usually do anyway, don't you Moony?"

"Well yes, but…"

"Aw, come off it, you know you love us," Peter chided.

"He loves Marlene," Sirius gasped.

"I – I what?" Remus asked, surprised.

"Oh, nothing," James insisted. "Come on, let's go get dinner." James slung an arm around his friend and steered him away from Sirius, who only received a shove from Peter in the direction of the Great Hall.


	6. Something More

I'm sorry!! I know it's been years and years since I've updated. I've had this thing for months, and have just been kind of nit-picking over it, annoying even myself. So here it is – enjoy.

Seventh Year

Lily didn't know exactly when it had started. She remembered distinctly, however, the first time she realized it was there. It was breakfast time on a Tuesday in late spring of their sixth year, and they had Transfiguration in twenty minutes.

"Dorcas, we have twenty whole minutes; plenty of time for you to eat, ok?"

"Don't give me that Lily, it's too early. And I'm hungry."

"Yeah Evans, don't try to be anyone's mother before at least 7:30. It's bad for morale," James Potter commented unnecessarily from her other side, where he had plunked his unwelcome self just moments before.

"Potter, please, not this morning," Lily groaned.

"What? Can't a bloke even talk to you without permission?" James half muttered as he reached across her for the jam.

And suddenly, Lily got the strangest feeling in the pit of her stomach. She froze, recognizing the feeling immediately and trying to decipher why she might be feeling it right at that particular moment. It was that fluttery, half excited and half nervous feeling she got when a boy she had a crush on walked by, but there was no one in the vicinity who should be making her feel that way. Unless…no. Ugh. _Not_ James, surely. Since the day they had first spoken, Lily had prided herself on being totally free of the spell he seemed able to cast on other girls. There was no denying he was somewhat good looking, in a skinny, lanky kind of way – but she had never been one to swoon because of a boy's looks.

And yet, here she was. James was reaching for the jam, which was all the way on her other side, and his back was nearly all pressed up against her front. And she was frozen. And feeling very fluttery.

James seemed to realize what a compromising situation he had put them in at the same moment Lily did, because suddenly he pulled back, looking slightly confused and still jam-less. Lily couldn't tell if he was looking at her or not, because she was most certainly not looking at him. She swallowed, and quickly brought her goblet full of pumpkin juice to her lips.

Later, sitting in Transfiguration, Lily couldn't concentrate for the life of her. She tried to work her way around the incident at breakfast, but no matter what she did she couldn't deny what she had felt. But _why_? Lily found herself seriously considering James Potter as a person for perhaps the first time since fourth year when they had first spoken.

She had always liked his friends; Remus was smart, kind, and somewhat more mature than the other boys in their year. Peter was friendly despite his timid nature, and Lily had always felt just a little bit sorry for him, and Sirius…Sirius was just a really good laugh, even if he was sometimes unnecessarily cruel in his jokes. But he had stopped most of that recently, Lily had to admit. That gave Lily pause, however, because if she were honest with herself, James had too. It had been quite a long time since she had caught them cornering any Slytherins or taunting Severus in the corridors, and while she wondered if this might simply mean they were getting better at hiding it, she didn't quite think that was the case.

And there was another thing, one she had avoided thinking about ever since she had first started to suspect. Lily had found out about James' stupid cloak back in the beginning of the fall term, but throughout the course of the year she had begun to wonder if they didn't use it for more than a little mischief now and then. She had caught three of them one morning, James, Sirius, and Peter, stumbling into the common room at an unholy hour out from under that cloak. She had been sitting in her favorite chair by the fire at the time, but had jumped up at the sight of James. He was limping towards the stairs, covered in bruises and scratches and more than one cut that was not small. He looked absolutely terrible, and Sirius and Peter, although in better shape than James, looked nearly as bad. They turned at the sound of Lily's movement, and stood staring at her.

"Potter," she had said, starting towards them.

"Evans," Sirius said sharply. He was looking at her warily.

"I…" Lily sputtered. "Are you alright?"

Even in his current state, James managed one of his more sarcastic expressions.

"I, oh, alright, that was a stupid question, but….what _happened_?"

"Evans," Sirius started again, looking a little disgusted.

"Ok, nevermind. But…What can I do to help?"

Sirius considered her. James seemed too tired to care, and Peter was simply watching Lily and Sirius with baited breath.

Finally Sirius said: "You can not tell anyone, Lily."

Lily remained silent for a moment, registering the use of her name and the expression on Sirius' face. Slowly, she nodded.

"Will he be ok?" Lily nodded at James.

James snorted. "Will he be ok…"

"Yes," Sirius said severely. "But Lily, I need to make sure you understand how serious this is."

Lily had never in her life seen Sirius Black's eyes so void of amusement. She nodded again. "I won't tell a soul, Sirius." She looked him in the eyes, holding his gaze until he finally looked away.

"Good," was all he said, and turned and went upstairs. James lingered a little to look at Lily, and then followed, Peter not close behind.

Lily considered this, sitting in Transfiguration and not paying a bit of attention to Professor McGonagall's notes. She thought now that she knew what they had been up to. She knew about Remus, and she had had her suspicions about the other three. The thing was…if what she suspected was true, and she had her evidence, then it meant that James and his friends were far more loyal and brave and downright clever than she had ever, ever given them credit for. It also meant that they had broken about one hundred wizarding laws as well, of course, but that at least didn't surprise her. She made up her mind then and there to begin to take James seriously. But first, she needed an inside source, someone who knew him well. Someone who wouldn't laugh at her.

"Remus!" Lily called down the corridor the minute Transfiguration was let out. The tall, sandy-headed boy broke off mid sentence and turned to look back at Lily.

"Yeah?"

"Wait up!"

Lily jogged to catch up with the boys. "Remus, do you think you could help me with something in the library for a moment?" She knew she was being entirely transparent, but if anyone was used to cheesy decoys and secret meetings it was the Marauders.

Remus shifted his bag on his shoulder. "Yeah, course." He turned to his friends. "Don't eat all the pudding without me, yeah?"

"Don't worry," James replied, "we won't save you a crumb."

"Thanks, Prongs." Remus smiled a crooked smile and followed Lily down the stairs to the library. Lily quickly found a secluded corner and flung her bag on the floor. She pulled out a chair across from Remus and put both her hands on the table. Remus raised his eyebrows.

"This is serious, Evans?"

"I've got to talk to you about James."

"Oh. Oh bugger. What have I agreed to?" He said in his teasing voice.

"Remus…"

"Okay, okay, I can be serious about this."

"I'd rather you be Remus, because at least then I know I won't be laughed at."

"Lily! I try to be completely serious and insightful just for you and you go and break the mood with a Sirius joke, of all things?"

"Sorry." Lily grinned. "But really…" her smile faded. "Remus, will you be totally honest if I ask you a question just now?"

Remus looked slightly uneasy. "I can try, Lily."

Lily took a deep breath. "I need to know…I need to know why you like James. Why you're friends."

Remus frowned. "That's it?"

"It depends on your answer."

"Well…gee, let's see. James is something else sometimes. He's a funny guy, Lily, but you know that. He…he has no prejudices. He takes everybody for who and what they are, and treats them accordingly."

"But what about-"

"Snape, I know. There's something you have to understand about that relationship though, Lily. Snape and James hated each other from the second they met. I don't know what it was, or why it happened, but both of them held a grudge from that day forward. It got stronger after fifth year…I can't tell you why, but ask James about it sometime and he might tell you. Anyway Lily, Snape is the exception. I'm not making excuses for Prongs, because I mostly agree that Snape is a rotten git, but I will give you that in the beginning he didn't always deserve everything he got from James."

"Or Sirius," Lily added.

"I thought you wanted to talk about James?" Remus smiled. "But that's another thing, you know. It was never just one of them, Sirius or James. Had James been on his own I don't know if he would have been half as terrible to Snape as he was. It's a great thing to be supported by a close friend in something like that. It gives you a kind of power, to have that support."

"He's stopped now," Lily said quietly.

"He has. They both have. James always learns from his mistakes. He's generous too, Lily, and brave. And loyal. If you only knew how loyal."

"I have an idea," Lily replied. "I…you can't tell anyone I know, Remus, but I think I've figured out about Prongs and Padfoot and Wormtail."

Remus looked surprised for a split second before he laughed. "Sometimes I think you're too clever for your own good, Lily Evans. Anything else you want to share with me?"

"Remus, does James….does James still…care for me?"

It was Remus' turn to grow quiet. "If you're asking if he's still madly crackers for you, you're asking the wrong question."

"I don't understand," said Lily.

"Lily, do you remember the way James used to ask you out at every chance he got?"

"But he still does!"

"Yes…and no. He used to ask you out because you were the first girl to ever say no to him. It stopped him in his tracks so suddenly that he was determined from then on to get you to change your mind. It's different now, though. He means it now."

"He…means it?"

"He means it. He doesn't even look at other girls these days. I mean if Sirius is ogling someone and tells James about it, James will go along with it and pretend to be interested, but he's only got eyes for you. You must know that!"

Lily looked slightly confused. "I…I didn't. I didn't think he really…Do you really think he does? Mean it, that is?"

"Lily, do you like him even a little bit?"

Lily was silent for a long time, then finally she looked Remus in the eye. "I think I like him more than a little bit, Remus."

Remus' mouth dropped open. Lily scowled. "No laughing, Remus, and none of your disbelief. I can't believe it myself! I feel so ashamed, after all these years of turning him down, but now…I think there might be something there, Moony, and I don't know what to do with it."

"You called me Moony."

"Sorry. I hear it so much."

"I don't mind. But Lily, what else is there _to_ do with it than say yes? Do you know how happy that would make James?"

"Would it? Would it really? I mean, what if what you said isn't entirely true? What if he's given up on me at last? How can I know for sure if he still really cares?"

Remus shook his head. "I guess you can't, Lils, if you won't take my word for it."

"You called me Lils."

Remus grinned again. "Sorry. I hear it so much."

Lily half-smiled. "Thanks Remus."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"I'm not sure yet. But let me know if James says anything, will you? And I'll think about it. A lot."

"Ok, Lils." Remus smiled at his friend. "I'll let you know."


End file.
